The Subtle Art of Saying Hi (Apparently We Forgot How)

I don’t know when it happened. Maybe it was during lockdown. Maybe it was somewhere between banana bread, daily walks, and aggressively avoiding any contact with strangers. But at some point, we collectively decided that basic human interaction is optional.

And by optional, I mean completely dead.

I step into the elevator in my apartment building. There’s already someone in there. A fully grown adult. Alive. Breathing. Looking at their phone like it’s about to reveal the meaning of life. Do they look up? No. Do they nod? No. Do they even blink in my direction? Also no. It’s just silence. Thick, awkward, almost deafening silence.

And I’m standing there thinking… are we doing this now? Are we just pretending the other person doesn’t exist? Because I’m not asking for a life story. I’m not asking to meet your parents. I’m not expecting you to drop to your knees and give me head. All I’m expecting a small ‘hi’. A simple acknowledgment that I am not a ghost and that you can see me.

The Office Version of the Same Tragedy

At work it’s not much better. I’m usually one of the first in. I walk in, say my good mornings, greet everyone like a normal human being who understands society is built on the bare minimum of politeness.

Then the others come in. No hi. No good morning. No eye contact. Sometimes I forget Susan is even on my team until she suddenly moves and I nearly have a heart attack because I thought she was a coat rack.

It’s not even rude anymore. It’s just… eerie.

What Happened to Us?

Did Covid break us? Did two years of avoiding each other turn into a permanent personality trait? Did we all just collectively decide that social skills are overrated and silence is the new personality?

Because I get it. We were told to keep a distance. Not touch. Not gather. Stay inside. But no one said stop saying ‘hi’. No one said act like every shared space is a silent retreat.

The Bare Minimum

Here’s the thing. Saying ‘hi’ is the lowest effort form of human decency. It costs nothing, takes one second and it requires zero emotional investment. You don’t have to smile like you really mean it. You don’t have to start a conversation. You don’t have to invite me over for dinner. And you certainly won’t have to take an STD test afterwards.

Just a nod. A quick ‘hi’. A tiny sign that you acknowledge another human being is sharing oxygen with you. That’s it! Because right now it feels like we’ve all turned into background characters in our own lives.

The Reality Check

I’m not expecting fireworks, not even a connection. I’m not expecting you to suddenly become my best friend. But a simple ‘hi’? That’s not flirting. That’s not commitment. That’s not a marriage proposal. It’s just basic manners.

So next time you step into an elevator, walk into the office, or pass someone in the hallway… just say ‘hi’. You won’t die…I promise. And who knows, you might even make someone’s day slightly less awkward. Or at the very least, you’ll stop me from standing there wondering if I accidentally turned invisible.

So tell me, Shitizens. Are you a “say hi like a normal human” person, or are you out here living your silent, mysterious elevator life like it’s a personality trait?