Rituals Magnesium Body Spray: Smells Like Sport, Feels Like Sin
I’ll start with a confession: I’m not sporty. Never have been. If sweating isn’t caused by anxiety or Rotterdam’s public transport in July, I’m not interested.
So, when I picked up the Rituals Magnesium Body Spray from their Sport Collection, even I had to laugh. The only competition I’m training for is “most dramatic sigh before bedtime.”
But let’s get into it.
The Thought
Every now and then, I like to trick my brain into thinking I’m that kind of person. The type who does yoga at dawn, hydrates on purpose, and says things like “I’m focusing on recovery.” Spoiler: I’m not.
Still, the bottle promised relaxation and better sleep. And if it also made me smell like the kind of man who owns matching gym gear, who was I to say no?
So, I sprayed. Generously. Like holy water for the hopelessly unfit.
The Facts
Rituals claims it’s packed with magnesium to help muscles recover and tension melt away. Which is cute, considering my only tension comes from work emails and trying to fold fitted sheets.
But then… it hit me. Not the magnesium. The smell.
Clean. Fresh. A mix of eucalyptus and cedarwood with a sprinkle of “I have my life together.”
It’s the kind of scent that could convince someone you just came from the spa instead of the couch.
It’s technically for post-workout use, but who’s checking? I spray it after a shower, before bed, or before other horizontal activities. The spray doesn’t judge.
The Verdict
Does it actually work? Define “work.” Do I wake up with the muscles of Thor? No. Do I fall asleep faster? Maybe. Do I smell like I belong to a higher tax bracket? Absolutely. And that’s enough for me.
Rituals Magnesium Body Spray isn’t about fitness. It’s about faking discipline and calling it self-care. It’s about that final spritz before bed when you think, “I’m doing something good for myself,” even if all you’ve done is survive the day.
At €20,90, it’s cheaper than therapy and sexier than melatonin. It’s not a miracle. It’s a mood.
Now tell me Shitizen, do you have a bedtime ritual? Or do you just collapse into the sheets like an overcooked noodle and hope for the best?
Smell ya later,
